The Life and Loves Of Ianto Jones
by muppetmadness
Summary: Ianto Jones's progression through life was dictated through his relationships. His journey involved pain and heartbreak, love and joy, and eventually leads Ianto to Torchwood and Jack. Janto, Ianto/Lisa, Ianto/OCs.


**The Life and Loves of Ianto Jones **

'_Gwen smiled, nudged his arm. "Oh come on, smile. Lisa, Jack, being bisexual is the hardly a crime. Best of both worlds, isn't it?"  
And Ianto pushed her away. "No, Gwen. No, really it's bloody not. It's the worst of any world because you don't really belong anywhere, because you are never sure of yourself or those around you. You can't trust in anyone, their motives or their intentions. And because of that, you have, in a world that likes its nice shiny labels. No true identity. For Torchwood's 'Little Miss Sunshine', you don't half talk crap sometimes. So do me a favour and shut up about it, all right?"' _

_~~ The Twilight Streets by Gary Russell _

Maybe he had overreacted. Ianto hadn't meant to explode at Gwen when she asked him about his sexuality, again, but as soon as she had widened her oh-so-innocent eyes and asked yet another tactless question he had snapped.

Being any sexuality was never easy but growing up as a bisexual teenager in Cardiff in the 20th century was one of the most difficult things Ianto had had to do. And that was coming from someone who had survived the end of the world several times.

Ianto had thought he was just like any other straight guy until he was 16. Yes, he was well aware of how to make a good suit and what materials, colours and styles would suit most men and women for most occasions but that could be easily explained away by the fact that his Tad was a master tailor. And considering the number of siblings Ianto had (4, an unusual number for the families in his neighbourhood) his Tad definitely wasn't gay. And then he had died just after his sixteenth birthday and suddenly his whole world was sent into chaos. It was like there was someone out there who, every time his life seemed to be going well, grabbed hold of it and shook so hard his teeth rattled in his head.

Dafydd Jones died from a heart attack on the 27th August 1999. It happened in the back room of his shop and for years the cause of it was unknown to Ianto and his family. Dafydd Jones had just suddenly, despite being in good physical condition, had a heart attack. It was Jenny, Ianto's sister, who had found his but by that point it was long past the point where there was any hope of resuscitation.

The superficial effects of his father's death had the following effects on Ianto's life. He had to switch school as the private school he went to could no longer be afforded; the family had less money in general and he had to get a weekend job.

The emotional ramifications were much worse and far-reaching.

***

Have you ever loved someone with all your heart? Known someone who knows you better than you know yourself? Felt like someone was the one person who could make your life better and then watched them walk away? By the age of eighteen Ianto had felt all this and more.

Ianto's first love and fifth best friend was one and the same person. Cedrik was Ianto's best friend in his last year at Kings Monkton School. They had been friends for just over two years and did everything together. They played in the rugby team together, they hung out together, and they went to parties together. And when everything went shit-shaped for Ianto, Cedrik was there for him, which probably explains why Cedrik was the first boy that Ianto felt truly attracted to. But, despite how much Ianto may have wished otherwise, Cedrik was straight and so Ianto's feelings went unreturned.

That next year things started to change. Their friendship just suddenly wasn't what it used to be. It wasn't anyone's fault but suddenly things that wouldn't normally matter to either of them started to. Ianto was at a new school and adjusting to his newfound sexuality; Cedrik got a girlfriend and stopped playing rugby. And these small bumps that shouldn't have made any difference suddenly did. Ianto and Cedrik just didn't have anything to talk about anymore and no matter how hard he wished otherwise; the good things in Ianto's life were always fleeting.

***

Ianto's next love fell into his lap half way through year 12. He had been sitting on the bus on the way to his job at Sainsbury's when Helen fell into him as the bus swung around the corner. Even as she stuttered out her apologies, flushing a dark shade of pink, he had fallen for her.

She was a year older than him and a rebel, she was a bad girl and yet one of the sweetest people he had ever met. She wore her hair short and black, spiked up ridiculously. She had about 7 piercings, including a lip piercing and Ianto knew all too well that this was a girl he could never take home. And that made it feel all the better when he did. He could still remember the stares she got from his family in scuffed Doc Martins, tight tartan pants and a black top with so many holes and safety pins in it, it was indecent. Despite her appearance, she was the thing that kept him sane that year. For the months before, it was all Ianto could do to stop himself from doing all the self-destructive things that were on his mind constantly – the alcohol, drugs and that nagging temptation to take a razor to his wrists and score the most beautiful pattern all over them. But he couldn't do that. Because he had to be responsible. He had to care. He had to hold everyone together.

Helen gave him the safest possible outlet for all the disaster inside him. She skipped school, smoked, drank, stole and hung out with people who did even worse. And while he was with her, so did Ianto, to a lesser extent. And every time it seemed like he was about to go too far, she pulled him back into her arms, where he was promised safety.

Ianto had stolen plenty of things by the time he was finally arrested for shoplifting. It was almost ironic when the security guard at Boots caught him stealing the pack of condoms. His family went mad at him. Everyone except his mother, she was already too far gone, took their turn at yelling at him. They pointed out how his grades were slipping, how he would be lucky to get any A levels at the rate he was going. They talked about everything his mother was going through and explained how ashamed he should be of adding more to her growing list of problems. They even went so far as to tell him how disappointed his father would be of him. And they forbade him to see Helen ever again.

It didn't stop Ianto, of course. For some time their relationship was only improved by the thrill of sneaking around, long enough for it to severely affect his AS results. Then the thrill of hiding started to dissipate and one day Ianto saw Helen making out with another guy.

Unsurprisingly, they stopped dating after that. Once again life had gone and ruined everything good in his world as soon as he had a glimmer of hope.

***

Ianto spent the next year focusing on bringing his grades back up. He stopped the drinking, the skipping school and the stealing. The only thing he kept for himself as a souvenir of Helen was the cigarettes and a black studded belt.

That was the year his mother went to Providence Park.

***

There are moments in life when you look around and realise that the world has moved on without you. That while you've been clinging to the past and believing that it is still the way things are, everyone else's life has been moving forward and changing into something unrecognisable. Something you don't have a place in anymore. And all you can do is start running in the hope that you will catch up.

For Ianto, that moment came at the end of his leaver's day. Everyone around him was talking about their plans for the summer or for university and Ianto realised he really didn't have any plans. Or any friends. Or any idea of what was going to come next in his life. He had applied for and accepted a place at Exeter University to study Economics but he didn't know why other than that his teachers had said it was a good idea. He didn't know what he wanted to be and by focusing so much on just surviving until the next day he had lost everyone he cared about on the way.

So he made a decision. He took all of his money and bought the cheapest plane ticket he could get for the next day. And leaving a letter saying only where he had gone behind, Ianto Jones left Cardiff and started down the long road that would eventual lead him to Torchwood.

***

Ianto got off the plane in Marrakesh and stepped into the blistering heat. As droplets of sweat almost immediately started forming on his head, he felt unbelievably light and positive. It was like suddenly all of his worries were simply evaporating in the heat and his soul was being scorched clean. Ianto stepped into the air-conditioned bus that would take him to the airport terminal with no plans but this strange, warm feeling radiating out of the centre of his chest and making him smile.

After collecting his bag he made his way to the information desk, waited in queue behind someone asking the most pointless questions ever and attempted to glean any information from the man behind the desk. Ironically, he actually discovered the information he require (where he could get a bus to a recommended youth hostel near the city centre) from the man in the queue next to him.

He bought a ticket and rode the hot, sour-smelling bus to the youth hostel, where he got himself a room. The room, whilst tiny, was clean and he would only have to share it with one other person. The youth hostel was close to the city centre but small enough that he wouldn't be kept awake all night by the other habitants. All in all, Ianto could find little to complain about considering the small price he had paid and was simply glad that the recommendation had proved to be an honest one.

For the first few weeks of Ianto's stay in Morocco, he did very little besides eat, sleep, wander around the markets, and make friends with the people in youth hostel (and have the odd random shag) and smoke hookah. To Ianto, this life was a perfect break for him; he didn't have to think or plan and could simply relax. However, by the end of week three, Ianto had begun to run out of cash and his perusal of the markets gained a slightly more predatory look as he searched for a job.

There was one shop, at the very edge of the market, which Ianto had visited every day since he first discovered it on the second day of his stay in Marrakesh. The little shop sold homemade clothes in the most beautiful colours Ianto had ever seen. The colours and materials would have been rare sights in his father's shop even at the best of times, reserved only for those with enough status and money to afford them. It was this that drew Ianto to the shop day after day and had him spending endless hours there running his hands over the delicately embroidered clothes without once buying a single thing.

On the Wednesday of Ianto's third week, a beautiful woman came up to him in the shop. She was so finely dressed that Ianto assumed she must be a costumer in the shop.

"Excuse me," she said to him in French. "But were you looking for anything in particular? I've seen you in here a few times now."

Ianto looked up at the woman, shocked because he had never seen her before.

"No, I'm sorry; I wasn't actually planning on buying anything, to be honest. My father was a master tailor and he owned a small shop before he died. When I saw the clothes in here it reminded me of him so much that I just had to come; haven't been able to stop since then." He smiled guiltily.

"Do you have any of his skills?" the woman asked.

"He taught me a few things," Ianto answered cautiously.

"Any you are a student, yes?"

"Yes," Ianto lied, because truthfully he wasn't sure what he was anymore.

"Well, would you like to work here? I can't imagine that you have very much money and you are clearly passionate about the clothes."

"But-"

The woman held out her hand, "Amina Hassan I own the shop."

"You...but..." Ianto spluttered. "You don't even know if I'm any good."

"Probationary period of a week, if you're any good you can stay."

Ianto had grinned at this and for the next week proved himself over and over. He used everything his father had taught him and quickly learnt more from Amina. It didn't take long for Ianto to develop a crush on Amina but he never even dreamed of his feelings being returned. She was older than him, successful and beautiful; why would she ever want him? It was enough for Ianto to just get to spend time with her and learn from her.

So it took Ianto completely by surprise when she propositioned him on night. And, of course, Ianto couldn't possibly refuse because of everything he felt for her. Their affair was possibly the most important one in Ianto's sexual history. From Amina Ianto learnt the difference between sex and making love; he learnt when to go fast and when to go slow; when and where to kiss a girl to turn her into a bundle of quivering nerves. As always, Ianto was an able student and by the end of the 11 months he spent with her Ianto was thoroughly enriched in all aspects of sex when it came to women.

Ianto left Marrakesh because he had noticed a certain handsome man spending large portions of time in the shop whenever Amina was there. He knew that she too kind to cheat on him but also knew that he had nothing to offer her in the long term. This man clearly did and seemed genuinely interested in her. So it was with fond memories that Ianto made plans with his roommate at the youth hostel to leave and left Amina, forever grateful for everything she had taught him.

***  
Ianto, his roommate and two of his roommate's friends all headed to the south of Spain together from Marrakesh. Ianto had got on well with his roommate for the few months they had been sharing a room and when he had started discussing going to Spain, Ianto had leapt at the opportunity. They planned to work the tourist season together before deciding what they would do from there at the end of the season.

The four friends got a job working as guides for the season due to their knowledge of English and French. Another guide working for the same company as them was called Ricardo. He was from Portugal and a year younger than Ianto. From the first time he saw him, Ianto thought he was gorgeous. He had the most soulful eyes and extremely kissable lips. The flame that flared between them was bright once it was finally ignited one drunken night. Passion soared through them both as night after night they explored each other's bodies and embraced.

Unfortunately, even the brightest of flames will burn out if it does not have something substantial to sustain it and when Ianto found rout from his friends (and once roommate) that Ricardo had been sleeping with some of the tourists towards the end of the season, the couple had a blistering fight which ended with Ianto leaving. They endured working together until the end of the season, only stumbling into their old habits a few times, and Ianto then quickly left for France.

***  
Ianto went by train from Spain to Montpellier in the south of France. He found a job working as the secretary of an electrics company. It did not take Ianto long to notice that the man he was working for had some inconsistencies in the amount of money he seemed to be earning. Although it seemed as though the company was not earning much money, the boss owned flashy sports cars and expensive clothes and certainly paid Ianto a large amount. Ianto was suspicious but thought that it was most beneficial for him to say nothing.

Margaux was Ianto's boss' daughter. She was pretty but also quite spoilt and shallow because she had always been given everything she wanted. As soon as Ianto saw her, he wanted her and his perusal of her was single-minded. It took him months of quiet, subtle flirting but eventually she succumbed to him. To Ianto, it was brilliant. She was the embodiment of every pretty girl from school who was always so sure they were out of his league. They saw each other behind her father's back for a month before he finally found out and gave Ianto a large amount of money to leave. As dishonest as it made Ianto feel, he took the money and left France.

***  
From France, Ianto went to Naples in Italy. With the money he had been given from his old boss, he rented an apartment for 6 months. The city was relaxed, without Ianto feeling as though there was nothing for him to do there, and Ianto spent the first week just doing touristy things and getting acclimatised to the cobblestoned-street city.

In his second week, he got himself a job at a small cafe on the main shopping street. He worked as a busboy for most of the day and was taught how to work the machinery and prepare drinks in the afternoon or during their low periods. His teacher, the owner, knew everything there was to know about coffee and after seeing how quickly Ianto picked things up, was always eager to teach Ianto more; whether it was by showing him how fine to grind the coffee or how to make the perfect milk froth for a cappuccino. And Ianto loved his job; it meant he got to look after people and in his own small way, make their life better, even if it was only for the short amount of time their drink lasted for.

Ianto met Zane several months into his stay in Naples when he got a job at the same cafe Ianto worked in. He was very like Ianto – kind, quiet and sensitive when it came to others- and the two became friends. Neither of them was looking for anything more but eventually the respect and friendship between them developed into something more, as it often does between two people who are good friends and spend a lot of time together. Luckily for Ianto, this was nothing like with Cedrik and Zane liked him back.

They had been dating for slightly over a month when it happened. They were out one night having been to a restaurant together and they were walking back to Ianto's apartment by a shortcut. Out of nowhere, five drunken men had appeared around the corner ahead of them, leaving Ianto and Zane no time to unlink hands and move away from each other, as they were often wont to do when they passed strangers. They kept walking and Ianto had thought that they were through the men and safe when one of the men yelled out at them. Ianto didn't recognise the word he used but he definitely recognised the tone of voice and started trying to walk faster towards the end of the alley. Another of the men cut off his way and they started approaching Ianto and Zane from all sides.

Ianto didn't remember much after the few blows, only trying to protect Zane and get a few of his own hits in. He woke up in the hospital several days later. He had received several blows to the head, broken a few ribs and lost blood as it took so long for them to be discovered. Zane still hadn't woken up and the doctors were scared that if he didn't soon there would be brain damage.

Ianto only waited until Zane had awoken before leaving Italy and finally returning home. He had realised that he had spent two years travelling and that, while he had learnt a lot, he was only hurting himself and others and that it was time to face his life head on and return to the UK.

***

When Ianto moved back to the UK, he first went to Cardiff to return to where his family was. But when he got there he only found that things had got worse since he left. His mother's mental condition had deteriorated after he had gone away, with no one to keep talking to her or supporting her or making her interact with reality. The rest of his family had dissipated and moved on with their lives, leaving Ianto, his mother and the memory of his father behind. Ianto only stayed long enough in Cardiff to visit his father's grave; the police station, to collect the file on his father's death; and his father's old shop, to collect the belongings he had left behind from the storage left there.

From Cardiff, Ianto went to London, where he rented himself an apartment and went about the long process of recovery, while studying his father's medical records and medical books so that he could at long last put to rest his father's death in his mind and completely move on.

But the file left him unsatisfied. The coroner had found no reason upon autopsy for Ianto's Tad to have a heart attack. It seemed as though his heart had been in very good condition, as had the blood vessels around it. There was no medical explanation for it. To make things even more mysterious, all the CCTV records had been wiped and the description of the physical evidence found at the scene wasn't in the file. No matter how hard Ianto tried, the only explanation he had been able to find was that there had been a cover up. His investigations of who would cover up the truth about his father's death were what would eventually lead him to Torchwood.

He never found out how Torchwood found him but one day two men had appeared at his door and shown him a world he would never have believed existed. And then they told him how his father had really died. It was, they told him, an alien who could psychically project fear into the minds of others. His father had literally been scared to death, his heart unable to withstand the stress that the alien put it through. It was Torchwood who had hidden the truth from everyone – humans weren't ready to know about what was really out there amongst the starts. Ianto was offered a job, a once in a lifetime opportunity to help protect the planet from extraterrestrial attackers. He was intelligent, resourceful, determined and, even more importantly, he had nothing to lose and no one to care if anything happened to him.

Ianto accepted straight away and settled into his new position as a junior researcher easily and swiftly. It felt almost as though he was made for this job and everyday he saw more wonders. And then he met Lisa in the canteen one lunch and his life once again changed for the better. She was one of the best young technicians in Torchwood One and absolutely beautiful. They went out on dates and Ianto used everything he had learnt from all his experiences abroad to ensure she would never want to leave him.

The Battle of Canary Wharf threatened to take all of that away from him. Just like after his father's death, his life was completely shaken up and everything he had based it on was gone but this time Ianto was determined to hold on with everything he had.

***

Ianto wasn't really sure how he got to Cardiff; his memories from that time were just a blur of trying to do whatever was best for Lisa. When he got there he set her up in the flat above his father's old shop (the building was empty now and had been left to him in his father's will) and went about stalking the infamous Captain Jack Harkness.

He learnt everything he could about him; saw him picking up and shagging both men and women; saw the way he led his team; and then he made a plan for the best way to get hired at Torchwood Three and implemented it. It may have taken a while but Ianto eventually won over Jack with his mix of flirting and capability.

The time Ianto spent at Torchwood before Lisa was discovered was spent learning everything he could about the others, caring for Lisa and gradually feeling increasing amounts of resentment towards the others. He knew about Katie, about Tosh and Tommy, about Margret the Slitheen and Suzie's relationship with her father. But what did any of them know about him? They had never bothered to try to find out who he really was.

The day Lisa died for the second time was one of the most confusing days of his life. Everything seemed to be going well until Lisa had killed Dr Tanzanki and then it was all a mess of flashing red lights and kisses and crying with the pain of losing another person and not being able to do anything to stop it.

Ianto hated Jack for a long time after that night. He hated him for killing Lisa but even more for making Ianto want him anyway. Hated him enough that he finally propositioned him over a colleague's dead body and that their sex that night contained tears shed from both participants over everything that had been lost. Their love was neither pure nor beautiful nor soft but they were as honest as they could be with each other and that was enough for both of them.

But when Jack was killed by Abaddon, Ianto realised that the way he felt was so much more than just sex or just friendship. Jack was central to Ianto's life now. Then Jack came back and left again and Ianto had to, at long last, form his whole life so that it was actually about him, rather than centred on someone else. Ianto grew out of his shell in those three months and affirmed himself to both his own eyes and the eyes of the rest of the team as someone who worth something and had talents and could make friends.

When Jack came back, their relationship was only improved by what had happened to both of them while they had been separated. Ianto was more mature and a lot less dependent on Jack, meaning that his capacity for understanding Jack and his reasons for doing things were better. Jack had realised that Ianto was important to him whilst repeatedly dying and finally felt as though he was in Cardiff to stay. But there was one thing that did keep them apart that was finally resolved after Tosh and Owen died and they had both felt as though perhaps life could not go on.

They were at Ianto's house, sheltering from the cold and the rain in front of the unlit fire while Ianto made them dinner. Both felt warm and relaxed for the first time in weeks. Ianto was just standing up to check on the food when Jack spoke.

"Here," Jack said handing Ianto some rolled up and well worn pieces of paper, which were tied in place by a black ribbon.

Ianto took the scroll tentatively, "What is it?"

"They're my account of what happened while I was away. I know you want to know and this was the only way I could think of telling you."

Ianto stood for a long time, frozen except from his eyes, which flickered between Jack and the pieces of paper. With one final look at jack, he took a lighter out of his jeans' back pocket and crawled over to the fireplace. With a well-practiced flick of his thumb, he lit the lighter and mover it towards the paper. He smiled slightly and lit the pieces of paper on fire and watched until the flames started to lick his fingers before dropping the papers into the grate. Smiling, he turned to Jack, who looked almost crushed at his actions.

"Oh you idiot, will you never get it? I don't need you to tell me everything that has happened in your life, I trust you to tell me when you want to. You don't have to rush it because you think that's what I want. I love you Jack."

Jack smiled, "I love you too."


End file.
